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Runner-ups


Kara Thrace, who is the most kick-ass woman on tv right now. Head!Six, who is the second most kick-ass woman on tv right now. Eric Cartman, the person I want to be when I grow up. Paul Kellerman, the magnificent bastard. Deb Morgan, who learned me how to cuss better. GOB Bluth, who taught me the difference between tricks and illusions. David Fisher, who made the never-ending Nate Fisher scenes worthwhile. Chris Keller, the heroic sociopath. Patchy, because I love Russians who can't die. Dwight, the eternal number two, except when he's bumping Angela. Liz Lemon, the person I also want to be when I grow up. And finally, Kenneth Brayer, who is not as stupid as he seems.



Michael Scott (The Office)


Michael: Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.



Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)


Jack: The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Ofcourse I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.



Benjamin Linus (Lost)


Ben: I can convince him to do it.
Juliet: How?
Ben: Same way I get anybody to do anything. I find what he's emotionally invested in and I exploit it.



Dexter Morgan (Dexter)


Dexter: People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That’s my burden, I guess.



Ryan O'Reily (Oz)


Alvah Case: Vehicular manslaughter, reckless endangerment, possession of controlled substances, possession of a deadly weapon, violation of parole. That's an amazing list of crimes.
Ryan: Well, you know, I applied myself.
Alvah Case: Still, I mean, even with all those talents, you must have had a hard time adjusting to life in Oz.
Ryan: No. I can take care of myself.
Alvah Case: Yeah, I can see that. But how?
Ryan: I'm like the Lord of the Fucking Dance. I got moves.


Mark Antony (Rome)


Clerk (holding up a scroll for all to see): These being the words of Marcus Tullius Cicero: When I was a young man, I defended the State. As an old man, I shall not abandon it. I give sincere thanks to Mark Antony, who has generously presented me with the most promising theme imaginable. I address you directly Antony. Please listen as if you.... as if you....
Mark Antony: Go on...
Clerk ...please listen, as if you were sober and intelligent, and not a drink-sodden, sex-addled wreck. You are certainly not without accomplishments: It is a rare man who can boast of becoming a bankrupt, before even coming of age. You have brought upon us war, pestilence and destruction. You are Rome's Helen of Troy. But then... but then...
Mark Antony Go on... GO ON!
Clerk: ..a woman's role has always suited you best.



Mal Reynolds (Firefly)


Inara: Hi.
Mal: BWAH!
Inara: Sorry! Didn't mean to startle.
Mal: You didn't! I was just, uh… "BWAH!" That's more like a… It's a warrior like… Strikes fear into the… hearts of… You know, not altogether wise, sneaking up on a fellow when he's handling his weapon.



Lee Adama (Battlestar Galactica)


Kara: It is funny. You know the President says that we're saving humanity for a bright, shiny future o­n Earth. That you and I are never gonna see. We're not. Because we go out over and over again until someday, some metal motherfrakker is gonna catch us o­n a bad day and just blow us away.
Lee: Bright, shiny futures are overrated anyway.



Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica)


Zarek: You... are a genius.
Baltar: And?
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